ELVIS FOUND ALIVE

"If I'm ever gonna tell my story, now's the time"

CAPTAIN MARVEL JR ORIGINS

"Mama and me were like adhesive tape"

ELVIS THE PELVIS

"My music let loose a pent up sexual frustration"

US ARMY INTERVENTION

"They tried to finish me off over in Germany"

HOLLYWOOD SCHLOCK FORMULA

"The Colonel told 'em "shoot Elvis in a phone booth if you want"

AMERICA UNDER SIEGE

"The Weathermen were out to destroy America"

FEDERAL DRUG ENFORCEMENT AGENT

"God wanted to use me in a more important way"

FIGHTING THE WEATHER UNDERGROUND

"Bill Ayers' Communist terror group had to be stopped"

BATTLING THE MAFIA

"I used Frank Sinatra to break up the mob"

FAKE DEATH PLOT

"The Weathermen and the Mafia put out a contract on my life"

WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM

"The Colonel had a secret past, far worse than I imagined"

THE STRUGGLE TO RETURN

"Mama had said to always prove I'm better than I was yesterday."

THE OBAMA - WEATHERMEN NEXUS

"Bill Ayers created the Obama we know today"

ELVIS IS BACK

"Everyone can be a superhero for America"